Originally Posted on Rachel’s Personal Blog
May 30, 2015
They are sitting on the table, while she is in the bathroom resting on her computer keyboard. They were pink, and small just like my mom’s small frame that dominated the living-room with her voice and laughter. I stared at them as I reflected on the meaning of these glasses with a smile, and I stood up to make the 40th cup of tea that we going to share, on this visit this early summer.
Dad bought these pretty glasses, because she needed them. She loved to watch TV when she wasn’t playing “her silly farm game.” Dad was tired of telling her what was on TV, cause her eyesight was so bad. She no longer could read the tv guide on her 42 inch flat screen TV. She bugged my father for months to get the new next box from Rogers so that she could read the guide and continue to program her favourite shows days or weeks in advance, so she wouldn’t miss a thing. Dad finally took the drive to Newmarket and picked up the “stupid box”, we hooked it up to only see that the font they used for the new guide was hard to read and way too small. I tried not to laugh at my dad, when I saw the defeated look on his face, but he smiled and shook his head and left the room. I know he was biting his lip but his love for my mom wouldn’t let him. I smiled at the love my dad has for my mom.
For months, Dad tried to get her to go out and get a new prescription. Mom, just flat out refused like a stubborn ram that her zodiac sign suggested she was ( Aries ) .. But in reality, she was too sick to leave the house, or too scared to be too far from the bathroom, and the safety of her oxygen machines, humming and breathing for her. After years of smoking her lungs couldn’t or wouldn’t work for her for the precious air that she needed to breathe. For her leaving the house to go to the doctors, or a ride in the car meant she might not be able to take a breath. She explained to me in tears earlier in the week that for her breathing felt like she was underwater and getting air though a straw. It scared her so much that leaving the house, would make feel like she was drowning. I said I understood, or at least I tried, couldn’t. I wanted my mom to enjoy life, do the things she used to do before she got sick and have the sun on her face, and share her with the rest of the world. Mom was a beautiful person. Everyone loved her.
Well, Dad being his ever resourceful self, he found an optometrist that was willing to come to the house, to fit her with new glasses. It took a bit of time but, dad gladly paid for the money for the visit and 2 pairs of glasses, one for her to use her computer, and ones for her to watch TV. She was thrilled so happy, you think she just won the lottery, she proudly showed me her pretty pink glasses that she loved so much. She knew they were expensive but they were so pretty she had to have them. Dad said later that mom was his special princess, and he really couldn’t say no to her, she was his world and he knew she gave up so much for him. I still don’t know what that means but it makes me cry when I think of it.
I saw the glasses shortly after the funeral, stilling quietly on the table, during the visit at dad’s house after the funeral in that cold January day. I thought of her laughter and the joy they brought her only a few months earlier. I couldn’t help but smile that a simple pair of glasses, could make someone so happy and one person so sad that a heart could burst.
I love you Mom, and I miss you very much.